Although, I don't mind so much if it's just the back of my head. From what I've observed, people typically have photos throughout their home, walls and desk of themselves and their loved ones. I do not. As someone who rarely looks in a mirror, I find photos...unsettling, especially of myself.
I don't recognize my self. I have to consciously say, "hey, that's me," but I don't like to. I'd rather avoid the emotional distress and just keep photos where they belong...in a drawer or on the camera.
I have a small collection of pics of my kids on the fridge. Every time I look at them I have to tell myself who they are. It's weird because I have this natural knack of guessing the correct age of every kid I see. So I know the photos are of my son at so many months or years of age.
Maybe it's my prosopagnosia, my inability to recognize faces that disturbs me so. Maybe it's my autism that is uncomfortable with eye contact, even from nothing more than a picture. Or it could be the aspect of my autism that reads too much into how someone is feeling on the inside, with a minor glance.
Could it be my DID/MPD in that I can't remember when the photo was taken and, hmm, maybe the reminders of the blackouts make me nervous?
So many various possibilities. All I know is...I don't like photographs.
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