Monday, May 9, 2016

I Am SO Naive

NAIVE: 1 unaffectedly, or sometimes foolishly, simple; childlike: unsophisticated 2 not suspicious; credulous
Syn- naive implies a genuine, innocent simplicity or lack of artificiality but sometimes connotes an almost foolish lack of worldly wisdom

So says Webster
I am naive. And I know it. One of the conundrums of Aspergers is an almost childlike innocence and way of looking at the world. I used to trust people, take them at face value, believe the words they said were literal and true...and I got hurt...a lot.
In my twenties and early thirties I found ways to protect myself and they weren't the most positive of virtues. I became suspicious, always looking for hidden meanings behind others actions. I learned to not trust what was being said because the actions rarely supported the words. I learned about masks that people wear, one for work, another for home, one for mom, one for friend.....but mostly, I learned to build walls...to separate even more from society because, quite frankly, I try and avoid pain.
I became the observer, the fly on the wall, watching, studying the words, movements and interactions around me.

Naivety is innocence. Be kind to the autistic. Remember that even though they look older, mature, grown up....sometimes they are nothing more than children trapped in adult bodies.

For the Aspie, the Auttie, be wary, but don't shut yourself off. I am physically old enough to say that there are many, many kind and caring NTs out there.
Things that helped me find the kind peoples: most NTs have patterns of behavior...if they yell and scream at their dog, they yell and scream at people; if they constantly put others down, whine a lot and are downright miserable, please, please walk away...don't try and rescue....rescuing is for the professionals, therapists, clergy; aim for hanging out with healthy people, those he are happy and content with themselves; avoid people who abuse substances and have a criminal history; don't make friends fast...take your time to get to know someone, find their patterns; trust your instincts...sometimes I meet someone for the first time and just feel like "ick" for no clear reason..I honor those inner feelings; ask someone You trust what they think about a new person you have recently meet...and listen to what they have to say.

You just have to be a little more cautious when you're Aspie. There are friendly, helpful and nice people's out there! I know, I have met many.

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