nothing to say, going black

Been sick and stuck for a few days. Maybe it wasn't the best idea to ask the dentist to remove his mask so I would be able to understand what he was saying. I caught his cold. Trying to make my life easier brought it down a few notches...can you hear the backfire?
Yeah, it is hard to find the right thing to say, the right thing to do, most every day. Uncertainty is the only constant. To catch the run away horse or just let it go on it's merry way because it's better in the long run. And there is never a picture or clear idea of what this mythical long run is.
I'm just working on making it through the day. Can't worry too much about tomorrow. What if tomorrow never comes and I'm living one long dream where the sun never rises and the moon never sets?
It's not a fork in the round, it's a roulette wheel that never stops spinning. That's how it feels, never knowing if you are moving in the right or the wrong direction. That's what each day feels like. Being sick just means I can't escape this vise by different views. The windows all reveal the same old, same old. No clues. No new clues. The view never changes.