Friday, December 8, 2023

Going to the Movies Alone

In order to maintain my low-level, social functionality, I must do things that are varying in discomfort. Going to the movies by myself is one of those tasks. If I don't do an uncomfortable task for a period of time, my anxiety will continue to grow to the point where I can't complete simple issues. 
I found a movie that interested me. I rarely find subjects or stories that peak my interest and lure me to the cinema.
Napoleon. I liked the idea of learning a little history. I bought my ticket for the less expensive, less crowded early afternoon matinee.  There were only two other couples in attendance. 
Being inside the theater is really another world in that the external world is completely shutout. No traffic or crowds or rain or lights, just a big screen to focus on.
I liked Watchung all the previews of upcoming movies. I rarely read newspapers or magazines regarding current events so it kinda gave me a glimpse into what society is doing and thinking these days.
I felt at ease, alone, up in the back row, unencumbered, no worries, no expectations, no chatter or questions, just off and solo with myself.
I brought my ear plugs. Then promptly lost one within the first few minutes. Luckily, the movie wasn't an action adventure type with constant loud noises. The battle scenes were scattered throughout the film but not long in duration.
I learned that not having anyone sitting next to me allowed me to easily and simply look away from all the violent battle scenes. At the end of those, I'd find out who won. I did not require the gory details. Something new I learned today.
I did really well, in that I did not get overly anxious or leave before the movie ended. That's what frequently would happen. I would either get overwhelmed, socially uncomfortable, or unable to stay sitting for the length of a movie.
Sure, I only caught about 50% of the dialog due to my verbal processing delay but I could still follow the theme of the action and storyline.
Was it enjoyable? Um, yeah, it was okay. Could have lived without it, yet I gained a little historical insight, did something different and got myself out of my house for a couple hours.
I did good.

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