Tuesday, December 26, 2023

I don't talk much. I don't know what to say.

Living in extreme isolation suits me. It's easy for me to go days without speaking a single word.
When I find my self in the company of others, whether it be on the city bus or at the store, I will use the customary small talk pleasantries but only if provoked, prompted, backed into a corner or feeling like engaging in light banter.
People, when they talk, they talk about things that don't interest me. I don't watch much television or go to the movies often. I don't follow celebrities or engage in gossip about the neighbors. I'm not interested in hearing sad stories as I have enough of my own, which are quite private. I don't want to talk politics cause that's a sh*tshow and it's controversial and it does not impact me, nor I it. I don't talk religion because God is good no matter what practice is followed. I don't, I recoil and try and protect myself from the news, guns and violence because it hurts me deeply that people viciously hurt people, both those they know and complete strangers.
All around it seems like a madness along with a great deal of nonsense.
I don't like talking about myself.
I deplore it, mostly. 
My children are grown and moved away. Mentioning them brings the grief of missing them, and usually tears.
My biological family consists of a hugh percentage of child abusers and intergenerational incest. I'll talk about that when I damn well please, but, few want to hear That.
I don't know what to say to others.
This is quite true.
I am probably the quietest person you will ever know.

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