Let's not forget the garbage notion that my only worth in life is how much I can help others because that is extreme BS as a drowning man cannot help anyone else except the bottom feeders by stopping his fight to survive. I was force fed that garbage ever since I can remember. It must have been practiced by people who weren't drowning, starving, being beaten or raped. Yeah, you go girl. You go save and help others because you are not drowning and can.
Now, without anyone else's interference or wishes or demands or needs getting in my way, maybe just maybe I can figure out a way to get out of these deep, churning waters. There has been no life raft, no self-sacrificing sailors weathering this ferocious storm to try and save my as*. And I have been drowning for decades. Forgive me if I somehow miraculously find the strength and energy to help you get across the street while I choke and gag on the water clear past my head.
FY
Clarity. Letting go of the forced, idiotic ideology of those saints few with no sins and open arms who have never strode into these deep waters, allows me to finally focus on Saving Myself. Even though they never deemed me salvageable, I'm still here and I'm still fighting for my life all by myself.
Priorities have shifted. Sure, Me Too and Me First because a drowning man has to fight for himself when he is alone out there.
