There is a certain look that people get on their faces when they notice my son's disability. For months I haven't been able to identify it even though I see it every month, oft every week.
I noticed it again today when my neighbor came up to me, all excited and enthusiastic. His eyes, his eyes were very different. His lips were different too. His smile was a wee bit forced and never varied from an over wide grin. He was offering my son and I free tickets to a local big college game.
His smile never wavered when I stated that I was autistic and couldn't handle crowds. Okay, his eyes got a bit vacant like "what does That mean?" but his smile remained.
It's like...he had a tear or two hiding behind his eyes. A certain sadness that I can now summarize as the thought, "I'm so sorry."
I saw it in the eyes of the waiter who brought us the takeout, in the eyes of his teachers as they talked about him and I see it frequently in those glances standing in line somewhere when someone notices he has no left hand.
It's okay, though. I guess I see it as a silent admission that they too realize my son's life has a few challenges.
Sigh. It's wonderful to be able to finally identify the look I've been seeing for over 13 years now.
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