Prepare to enter the wild and wooly world of an adult with Aspergers Syndrome, a form of autism characterized by intellignce, quirks, social difficulties and downright strange and oddish behaviours.

People with Aspergers generally are high functioning in everyday life but have great difficulty connecting with others due to the inability to read faces, body language and subtle verbal clues. They also tend to take words literally and have a hard time multi-tasking.

Oversensitivity to touch (clothing has to be soft and often the tags removed), light (do not leave home without the sunglasses), sound (loud noises and noisey places are avoided), taste (many Aspies have quite a limited diet and are frequently very picky eaters) and smells makes the everyday existence more of a challenge.

Fasten your seatbelts and come on in...
To find out more about what Aspergers is..please check out my earliest blog entries

Tuesday, December 6, 2016

Holding my therapist's hand

I've always noticed that I crave holding my therapist hand. It's stymied me for years lingering in the back and forefront of my mind. I think I've finally figured out why I do this unusual behavior.
Touch validates my existence. It means that I'm real, seen, heard and someone else, in this world, is not repulsed by me.
It's really that simple.
I've often been...oh, embarrassed maybe,  wondering if I'm crossing some therapeutic boundary or revealing too much of how I feel deep inside.
I'm a big, strong adult that has falsely prided myself on the fact that I need no one. I had no one and I took the initiative and stopped showing any needs, any soft underbelly or weakness because my needs weren't worthy of being met. Or they would be exploited and used against me.
I don't want to need I'll whisper this...I do need someone to I know that I am real and that I'm okay.
I often wondered if it was the 50 years of less than adequate affection or, more likely, the supreme distance and disconnect I feel on a daily basis being autistic. Maybe that's part of it, too. It would make sense.
All I know for sure is that I need a safe therapist that allows me to touch or hold her hand at times. I recognize what I need to feel safe and heal.
Just sayin'

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