Tuesday, August 28, 2018

Aspergers, Meltdowns and Violence

As I process yesterday's meltdown in my therapist's office, it occurs to me that it may have been the first time I can recall exhibiting any type of violence or aggressive movements.
Specifically, I remember grabbing at and pulling strongly on my clothing in an aggressive manner.
I'm stymied as to why after having Aspergers all these years, am I only now showing signs of violent behavior.
One, I think it maybe because I couldn't run away or get out of the room where I was overwhelmed. Looking back, my go to thing to do whenever my emotions overwhelmed me I ran out the nearest door, to my car or to the nearest restroom. Because I was in a pain session and I walked into the appointment with a ton of things to say, I think I took a no-run option in hopes of being able to say what I intended and had planned for days.
Maybe I was partially frustrated over just that, my inability to articulate.
Could it be that I've gained some self-assurredness which, according to the following chart, relates to meltdowns?
I'm guessing it's one of these ideas.
I'm surprised buttons didn't go flying off my shirt and I didn't make any trips in my clothing.
In retrospect, all the other meltdowns I ran. Maybe that's what I need to remember to do.
I like this simple chart as it easily provides the differences between meltdowns and shutdowns.

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