Saturday, August 18, 2018

What Destabilizing Means, the Multiple Autistic

Or why I can't leave the house for days.
Haven't destabilized like this in years. New, pretty awful memory surfaced and is unresolved at the moment.
Have been nonfunctional for over a week.
The symptoms: extremely tired, unable to focus, deer-in-the-headlights look, can't talk right with stammering, stuttering and losing words and train of thought, inability to engage with anyone, my hands make very odd movements, most times I can't write words that make sense. Can't focus enough to read, clean, paint or get dressed, changed.
It's beyond unpleasant.
It's a life on hold until therapy, or a really good switch to an alter unaffected by this memory, or we can somehow write it all out and pick up our own pieces.
A life on hold.
At some point, resolution.

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