There are reasons I hesitate to go shopping. I frequent my local Goodwill store at least once a week. On occasion I have been known to small talk with a couple of the employees. Well, that policy of chitchat has stopped. Here's why...
There isn't any way that I could have predicted and avoided the public embarrassment I suffered a couple months ago. As a good Autistic, I spend hours upon hours analyzing various scenarios, reenacting potential situations, for the avoidance of pain and shame.
The employee, as he was restocking the shelves in my aisle, gets down on bended knee in front of me And in full view of other customers, opens a cheap jewelry box and shows me a fake, gaudy, diamond ring.
I was petrified and shocked. I'm sure I used my customary polite smile but inside it was like all the animals had been let out of the zoo.
I wanted to run but I resisted. I needed to temper this scene not enhance it. I stood my ground, pretended everything was fine and attempted to go on shopping, waiting for the perfect moment to slow run to the door and leave.
Meanwhile, said employee starts chatting about his wife. I'm guessing this was some attempt to nullify his behavior? To make sure I knew he was joking? I so did not appreciate it!
I waited until I'd gotten a couple aisles away before I walkran to the door.
I was speechless and shaken.
I didn't go back to that store for over a month. And I completely stopped interacting with this employee. I am always aware of where he is and I avoid him or pretend he doesn't exist. I find his behavior upsetting and unprofessional.
Part of it is the unexpectedness of it that is distressing. I was caught off guard, a place I work to never go.
It took me awhile to write about. I'm guessing it's the shame or humiliating or public embarrassment; I'm not sure which.
Going to the store, heck, going out my front door often carries risk.
If only others could realize how brave and courageous we are in our every day lives!!!
There isn't any way that I could have predicted and avoided the public embarrassment I suffered a couple months ago. As a good Autistic, I spend hours upon hours analyzing various scenarios, reenacting potential situations, for the avoidance of pain and shame.
The employee, as he was restocking the shelves in my aisle, gets down on bended knee in front of me And in full view of other customers, opens a cheap jewelry box and shows me a fake, gaudy, diamond ring.
I was petrified and shocked. I'm sure I used my customary polite smile but inside it was like all the animals had been let out of the zoo.
I wanted to run but I resisted. I needed to temper this scene not enhance it. I stood my ground, pretended everything was fine and attempted to go on shopping, waiting for the perfect moment to slow run to the door and leave.
Meanwhile, said employee starts chatting about his wife. I'm guessing this was some attempt to nullify his behavior? To make sure I knew he was joking? I so did not appreciate it!
I waited until I'd gotten a couple aisles away before I walkran to the door.
I was speechless and shaken.
I didn't go back to that store for over a month. And I completely stopped interacting with this employee. I am always aware of where he is and I avoid him or pretend he doesn't exist. I find his behavior upsetting and unprofessional.
Part of it is the unexpectedness of it that is distressing. I was caught off guard, a place I work to never go.
It took me awhile to write about. I'm guessing it's the shame or humiliating or public embarrassment; I'm not sure which.
Going to the store, heck, going out my front door often carries risk.
If only others could realize how brave and courageous we are in our every day lives!!!
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