I deserve food that tastes good and doesn't hurt me

It wasn't until my 60th year that I realized the ingestion of food need not hurt.

The first time I baked homemade buttermilk biscuits, I cried.

The first time I was able to accomplish the complex task of creating a homemade chicken pot pie, I cried.

The food did not hurt to it. It tasted good, wonderful, warm and synergistically insync with my inner body.

It taste like the feeling of finishing a marathon or how one feels atop a tall mountain after an arduous climb. It tasted pure, unaltered, soft. After and as I ate, my digestive system wasn't fighting or working overtime or trying to neutralize or work around hazardous conditions, as it does with the majority of food.

This was different. Eating the biscuits. Eating the pie. There was no dissension. Eating was actually a highly pleasant experience, for the first time in my life.

My body has oft reacted negatively to food. I have a low tolerance for histamine which are found in leftovers, anything fermented like cheese or yogurt or yeast, many fruits and vegetables, as well as processed meats. If I eat too many foods high in histamine my entire outer body, my skin, contracts itchy hives.

I discovered I had a low tolerance for histamine when I tried eating an avocado. Then another time, it was when I ate zucchini. Foods that are supposed to be good and healthy make me feel bad and sick.

After my chicken pot pie rapture eating wherein I ate nothing but it for days on end for most meals, I reverted back to baking up an individual sized homemade pizza with nothing but a little sauce and cheese. It did not sit well with me. It made my digestive system, as well as all other systems it associates with, I'm sure, unpleasant, ill at ease, as if I had been sailing pleasantly on a calm sea and now I felt the hidden rumblings of storms beneath the waves. It's an unpleasantness that is subtle yet definite. I felt off kilter, like something was wrong but I didn't know exactly what. Reminds of the fairy tale, the Princess and the Pea, wherein something so small that most would never notice, was huge and obvious to me.

Eating, relishing the pure homemade foods that agreed with my body provided a barometer allowing me to recognize these sublime unhealthy and troublesome foods I had been ingesting.

I'm paying much greater attention to how I feel and the clues my physical body is giving me every time I eat. 

I am actively working to provide my body with food it doesn't have to fight.