Maybe it was because I spent a few hours with another Aspie, listened to her talk and wondered if I sounded the same: like a small child in a huge body, or ridiculous and using familiar words in strange ways.
I am in agony and have sent many messages to the counselor but it was only after many that I was able to convey my great pain and need for assistance.
I can't even scream for help in a dialect others understand, even those trained to recognize and aid
I fear writing will make me sound ridiculous. I fear talking will make me sound ridiculous to a much greater extent.
I think people can hear me. They just can't decipher what it is I require and need and am pleading for.
The fear of speaking grows great which is greatly interfering with my attempts to get aid.
I am lost and awash in anguish and grief. And I'm not holding out my hand properly or using the right words.
One of those days wherein the self critical, self awareness is so high I hate being Aspie.
My words are not being understood. Is it my bad or others. Doesn't matter. It's just bad.
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