Prepare to enter the wild and wooly world of an adult with Aspergers Syndrome, a form of autism characterized by intellignce, quirks, social difficulties and downright strange and oddish behaviours.

People with Aspergers generally are high functioning in everyday life but have great difficulty connecting with others due to the inability to read faces, body language and subtle verbal clues. They also tend to take words literally and have a hard time multi-tasking.

Oversensitivity to touch (clothing has to be soft and often the tags removed), light (do not leave home without the sunglasses), sound (loud noises and noisey places are avoided), taste (many Aspies have quite a limited diet and are frequently very picky eaters) and smells makes the everyday existence more of a challenge.

Fasten your seatbelts and come on in...
To find out more about what Aspergers is..please check out my earliest blog entries

Tuesday, April 29, 2014

Freedom...within reach?

Honestly, I don't know what I would do if I was free. I've never experienced said feeling. It's kinda scary to think about. Changing.
 It's as if my wrists are shackled at my waist. And freedom hovers directly in front of me, like a trophy...or a treasure box...or Pandoras box...
 All I need do, is release the shackles (I can do it. It's within my control.) and reach out, just a foot or two directly in front of me. But it could be a mile away. Out of reach. The distance between me and the chasm of years of being belittled, used, forbidden from thinking or feeling for myself.

 I'm unsure, unsteady, having never really reached out...for anything. I'm used to my hands at my sides, disabled, crunched against me, held back, manipulated, taught that I was useless, that my arms weren't really mine to do with as I pleased. My hands made to touch things I didn't want to touch. Fingers made to go places fingers werent meant to go.  So much disgust, foul, made to dos, forces and being forced. My arms were never mine to move and do as I pleased, my hands, and the rest of me.
Oh, I feel such atrembling of struggle, everywhere. I've worn this strait jacket so long, it's turned into security, or rather, the monster I'm familiar with. Like I've lived within these four walls of peeling, weeping plaster and paint. It's all I have known. Gotten used to it. Hard to think about leaving a familiar, well-aged state of mind. Don't know if I can do it. Don't know whats out there. It's hard...jumping off the familiar, crumbling building into the open, unknown air.
Just thinking out loud. Not sure I'd know what to do if I felt walking onto an alien planet......

No comments:

Post a Comment