Prepare to enter the wild and wooly world of an adult with Aspergers Syndrome, a form of autism characterized by intellignce, quirks, social difficulties and downright strange and oddish behaviours.

People with Aspergers generally are high functioning in everyday life but have great difficulty connecting with others due to the inability to read faces, body language and subtle verbal clues. They also tend to take words literally and have a hard time multi-tasking.

Oversensitivity to touch (clothing has to be soft and often the tags removed), light (do not leave home without the sunglasses), sound (loud noises and noisey places are avoided), taste (many Aspies have quite a limited diet and are frequently very picky eaters) and smells makes the everyday existence more of a challenge.

Fasten your seatbelts and come on in...
To find out more about what Aspergers is..please check out my earliest blog entries

Friday, April 18, 2014

Idle Midnight Thought

It's funny, the thoughts that arise when I lay down to go to sleep. Nighttime seems to bring clarity. My mind is allowed to run free.
 I was thinking...I've only ever had one close friend who didn't keep secrets or hide anything from me.
 I guess I'm stymied as to the reasons people hide things, the motives and all.
Hmm. Just a thought


  1. Hmm... I'm guilty of this. I hide alot compared to most people. I don't do facebook or use my name online. If I have to fill out information for something, I'll usually check male and use a fake name. After an online stalking expierence in college I am quite paranoid. And I have always just naturally guarded my privacy pretty fiercly, even in matters that probably wouldn't seem private to most people. For some people it can be hard to trust and share for various reasons...
    I was more trusting face to face when I had friends, but that often backfired too with "friends" blabbing stuff to their other friends.
    I love it when I have a true friend I can tell everything to and feel safe knowing that they'll keep all my secrets. It's just been so rare. :-(

  2. Yes John, I've given it a lot of thought. Maybe people are embarrassed, ashamed or hiding mistakes or poor choices. Me, I'm as honest with others as they are with me. If I have to hide anything, it doesn't feel good so I base my actions and decisions accordingly. Holding stuff in just seems to be too much work for me:)

  3. Hi KatKnip,
    Do you have Aspergers? There is a big difference between hiding secrets and protecting ones privacy. In my head, they are two very different things. It took me quite awhile to go on fb, put up a real photo of myself and use my real name. It is very common for Aspies, experience has shown. There is no harm or shame in it. Some of us are much more private than others. Like you, so many have suffered from revealing too much of themselves to the unscrupulous and the stupid, the wrong people.
    As an example of what I mean by hiding secrets...I know a couple people that never bothered to tell me they were previously married. To me, that was a big thing to keep from me. It didn't make any sense not to tell me.
    It just feels like being open and honest, whilst protecting my privacy, is the healthiest, best policy for me. If I'm doing something I don't want anyone to know, than I don't do it.
    It sounds like you have very good reasons to want to remain private. There is no fault in that! Not a single one:)
    You seem pretty darn smart.
    Thanks for writing and reading, Amy

  4. I've suspected for years that I have aspergers, but I have not been diagnosed. This is just one more thing I don't talk to anyone about...until now. Poor you, eh? :-(
    A lot of it seems to fit, but I suppose it could just as easily be that my issues are from being raised by a dysfunctional family. I guess I don't know that it matters what causes me to be the way I am. I can not change it.
    No I've never hidden any marriages, long lost children, or similar from people I care about. :-) Hiding things relevant to your friendship/relationship with someone isn't a nice thing to do. Can you really even call someone a friend if you don't at least trust them with the important things?
    I'd say I am honest with people I trust not to use my honesty against me in some way. I positively ache for a friend like that now. But I have been known to flat out lie to irrational people like my family who have proven they don't deserve to know anything about my life. As for everyone in between, I guess I'd say I'm reserved. I try to be honest. I don't make things up for fun, but the world is a mean judgmental place and being too honest with strangers or acquaintances seems to invite condescention or cruelty. I've had enough of both in my life.
    Keep writing Amy. Your blog makes life a little less lonely for lots of us! :-) Sorry if I've become a bit of a pest.

  5. Hi KatKnip,
    I welcome hearing about you. It is difficulty even getting a formal diagnosis, what with insurance, stress and just finding someone who knows how to test.
    Trust is such a huge issue with me, and the majority of Aspies I know. Once the trust bond is broken, it can be repaired but it takes a looonnnngggg time and lots of proof for the other to reearn it.
    Oh, dysfunctional families members are unworthy of the truth or any respect. Yep, I lie to those who are unsafe and lie to me. I believe in protecting myself 100%!
    Aching for a friend...I hear you! Someone asked me, just last night, what the hardest thing is.. I sad not having one, singe, good and trusted friend. Hard to make others understand how much that bothers and hurts us. Really glad to have a therapist! At least she listens to me, nonjudgemenally, one hour every week. It's been a good life raft.
    Yes, it sounds like you have an accurate, insightful view of the real outside world! I concur.
    You are awesome. I enjoy conversing with you! Thanks for reading, writing and sharing! It makes my world a little less lonely:) Amy

  6. Thanks for putting up with me, Amy. You're a really great person!
    I don't have insurance. I thought about doing the Obamacare thing, but when I went to the website, it seemed complicated so I gave up and I guess it's too late now. I haven't been to a regular doctor since I was a teenager anyway so why bother with insurance. I know, that's soooo bad.
    I liked therapy too when I went. Someone paid to listen to me whine. :-) It does feel better to have someone (even if paid) to talk to, but it never fixed or changed anything for me so the relatives that were paying for it at the time eventually stopped.
    Sounds like we both need a friend. I'm a freak far across the internet, but you can talk to me if you want to! And lots of better people read your blog and hear you, even if they aren't commenting. You're not alone!
    I'd even suggest we exchange email addresses, but I don't think either of us wants to post ours on a public blog. :-(
    At least we can converse here. It helps! Take care of yourself and keep writing. :-)

  7. Thanks KatKnip. You are so darn smart and wise:)