I don't know. How I can be so fucking ill for four weeks now. Not sure how I manage to get up, physically, off the bed or couch, a dozen times a day. How I manage to do, basically, every single chore that I have to do when well.
There is no one to whine, bitch and complain to about how sick I am and how I feel. There isn't anyone to say,oh, let me help you with that. There are no volunteers or anyone who gives a shit and can actually help. No sense or need to verbalize it, even if I were to manage to find the words for how fucking miserable I am and have been. No one to hear anyone, so why bother.
I'm sensing that I'm all pent up, spinning in my heels, lost and forgotten because, as per my pattern, I am responsibe and expected to do my tasks and chores. There is no outside help, never has been and never will be. If you can't get up to make your own dinner or the kids meal, then no one fucking eats.
There is a downside to having trouble communicating and having no one outside, friend, otherwise who wants to help.
Same story. Hasn't changed. I'm not asking for help because it doesn't exist. I'm dragging my sorry, sick ass around and giving 125% every fucking day even while feeling absolutely horrid, miserable, wracked with pain and suffering. Yup, the fuckin sags continues.
Fuck this shit
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