I never bothered to think for myself, to wish or hope for anything better than my miserable every day experiences.
I fully believed that the rest of my life would be exactly like my childhood days. I resigned myself to just make the best of it and pray for an early death.
I was a total puppet. Someone else continually pulling my strings. I said what they wanted, did what they wanted, felt how they told me to feel...and I thought the way they wanted me to.
How do you become real, turn into a person, with ones own heart, mind and soul after years spent being the speck of dust being blown by someone else's breath?
How does one learn to begin to be?
I always know my big truths because I well up all emotional. It's like the green light that says go, you are on to something important here.